Soul Ties | What are you hitched to?

Photo from ginosphotos/iStock

We often hear it said that deliverance/freedom is like an onion.  Sometimes, we need to peel off layers of things before you get to we can get to the core of an issue. Soul ties have layers.  Like a piece of yarn, there are many threads together to make one string.  So even if you cut one tie, there may be others still linking you to that person, depending on the depth or layers of the relationship and what it’s original intent and purpose was.

In a past relationship I had, there was a child involved. Her mother and I were together for several years. During that time I took her daughter own as being “my child”. Her mother and I were never married. Even though we were choosing abstinence until marriage and mostly maintaining that, there was still layers of soul ties formed between us just by living together and calling ourselves a “family”. We were living together and raising this pre-teen to an adult together.  I took responsibility for her, so much so that even after her mother and I parted ways and she moved out of state, I kept “our daughter” for a year. During that time, I was certain that she was “my child”.  It’s been over a year now that she moved out.  She just recently got her own apartment and told me about it.  Last week, prior to her telling me I had overwhelming feelings of fear of the future, fear of lack/provision, loneliness, extreme rejection (like to the point that I thought I had gone backwards in time.  Actually now that I think of it, back to who I was a 1.5 years ago when I last saw her) I was feeling very unstable and chaotic.  I knew none of the thoughts or feelings I was having were real because they made no sense for my present state. I even kept saying, God why am I feeling like this?  Everything is fine, maybe even better than before.  See, also last week I got some news that shook up the foundation of something I considered to be security.  Then Lord showed me that I was standing on a man-made thing for security and not Him.  So when I repented of that and shifted my focus to Him being my rock then the “quaking” in my spirit stopped.  I was able to stand up in my authority through Christ Jesus, square my shoulders and speak out the word of God over the situations in my life.  I literally saw things as if an earthquake had hit my spirit, and things had toppled over, there was empty containers laying on the ground, dust on things.  However, there was quite a bit of things that weren’t out of place at all.  Those were the things I had already secured down with the Word of God in previous seasons.  So, now in this aftermath I said, Lord show me what needs to be bolted/secured down with your word and what needs to be removed or re-purposed.

So today, I did a double take when the Lord showed me that I still have soul ties with my … ex-daughter.  IDK if that’s even a thing.  But in my world it is, so it is a thing then. When my security was shaken last week, it opened the flood gates of emotions that she was feeling to come into my word and torment me through the unhealthy soul tie.  The enemy had legal access to pervert God’s intent and torment me through that unGodly soul tie the moment I had something in common with her again.  To be honest, I was cowering in the corner thinking it was all about me.  This even showed me where I had made financial agreements with her that was tying my finances to hers.  God did bring her into my life and I was even supposed to be someone that she looked to for guidance.  However, I blurred and crossed all kinds of boundaries when I claimed to be her parent with having no legal rights. I had even signed documents for her school, as the guardian.  In fact, what I was doing was illegal in the natural and in the spirit.   I was her friend/guide but never her guardian.  That’s all that I was ever supposed to be to her, a close friend/mentor/guide.  Her mother and I shouldn’t have dated past 5 months into the relationship.  It all would have worked out just as God has told me it would in the beginning of the relationship if I had obeyed.  However, I let my feelings about the situation and my own understanding of the situation take over.  In effect, it extended the time it took for me to get to where God was trying to take me all along.  Just like with Abram, when he let Lot tag along.  God told him to leave his family and friends and go.  It says and Lot went with him.  It wasn’t until he finally cut ties with Lot and sent him on his way that God began to speak to him again.  Read Genesis 12-13 for the full story.  You will see where his disobedience even caused a whole debacle in Egypt that didn’t have to take place. 

Genesis 13:14  And the Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him: “Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are.

I believe whatever transpired between Abram and Lot, a soul tie/covenant/agreement was broken and God was then able to establish the “Abrahamic Covenant”. 

I think it's quite often in our community that we claim “spouses and kids” to be ours that aren’t.  Especially prior to the legalization of marriage.  So today I am asking Holy Spirit to show me all the Soul Ties that I created with the claims and words of my mouth that didn’t line up with what He had for me.  Then I will surrender them all in prayer, repentance, renouncing and speak in the right relationships that God has for me.

I had stood on what I thought was a word and a promise from God that she was my child. Some people had even prophesied to me saying it was the word of the Lord that this was God’s plan, even gave scripture to back it up.  It caused me to be extremely confused when the Lord was telling me to let go and surrender it to Him.  I fought hard for what God’s hand wasn’t actually on.  So when she left, I thought it was something I had failed at or that somehow the devil was winning the war at that time but God would have the victory.  On this day God gets the victory because I can now see where His hand was in this situation all along. He protected each of us and sustained us.  The three of us are free to be responsible for our own selves and the choices that we make now. I am certain that when I go back and listen to those prophetic words I will hear them with new ears and see the clear word of the Lord. 

Since I'm here bearing all, I had to swallow a whole humble pie when I realized that her mom was only supposed to be the next person I dated and not my future.  That was literally the word/direction God gave me the day that I met her.  During the time that she and I  were together, I had defended her and our relationship until I was literally red and then blue in the face to so many people that saw what I couldn't see.  We were not equally yoked and she was not headed in the same direction as me. I had to lay down my pride and need to be right. I had to admit I had gotten it wrong and misunderstood what God had been saying past a certain point, or more so that God had stopped actually speaking about that relationship past a certain point. Just as Abram went to Egypt and then lied about his wife and got into all kinds of extra trouble that didn’t need to happen.  The Lord had taken him to the place he needed to be and would have been able to sustain him there, but Abram disobeyed and added his own understanding to it. Adding time and stress that could have resulted in death even. Finally when Abram got himself back to the place God told him to be in, and separated himself from Lot, the promise God had for him was able to be fulfilled.  

 I remember the vision I would often have in regards to that relationship.  I would see her in a giant mud puddle, with a busted wheel on her old covered wagon.  She refused to leave it and just come up out of the mud.  I stood on the side of that marsh for years trying to get her to take my hand and come up out of it.  Getting so frustrated that she wouldn’t just turn from it.  I would see her sitting there in the mud day after day, getting more and more covered with it until she no longer looked like the woman I met.  Yet, she refused to move on from it.  The day I finally said, okay well I’m just going to walk on a head and see what is over there...I never looked back.  My life has become brighter and lighter and more meaningful than ever. I believe that hers has as well. Her daughter and I are in communication and I believe that relationship will in time be restored to what God intended that to be. I’m not sure I ever understood why I saw her in a covered wagon until this moment.

What have you hitched your soul to and tried to pull along with you that God never intended?  What are you trying to drag up out of the mud into your promised land? 

**Immediate update:  Just as I finished typing this, I got a text from my “ex-daughter” asking for advice on a situation.  Within minutes the Lord gave me the answer to her dilemma and I was able to give her sound advice.  I had peace knowing that I had given her the advice that she asked for. Its on her to take the advice or continue to fret,worry, and do things in her own understanding**